Nearly Drowning

So I just texted Alivia “So honestly I’m stressed the fuck out.” 

I haven’t reached out at this point in my stress levels in I don’t know how long. Probably not since I was dating Kraig. Ryan has no idea what is going on in my life right now. Alivia has no idea. I’m about to cry in relief that I finally/actually reached out. 

My grandparents aren’t doing well, my grandpa is actually in the hospital atm. My great-aunt and her husband are both in the hospital. My great-uncle and my grandma both were in the hospital briefly this week. My mom wants my brother and I to go see my grandparents during our Spring Breaks (thankfully they’re the same this year). She’s with them in another state right now so it’s just me, my step-dad  Stew and my step-grandma at home right now. Stew is traveling for work for a week leaving tomorrow so I get to take care of Gma. I need to ask him about her pills before he leaves. I’m paying my own tuition and it’s way more than it was last semester. I need to file for deferment for paying back my student loans and can’t find one fucking minute to do that. I had to actually ask my dad to send me gas money because I can’t even afford to buy an iced coffee from Biggby right now. I’m working two jobs, doing an internship, doing classroom observation hours at the butt crack of the morning, taking a 6-9pm class, and doing an honors senior project. I still need to update my Peace Corps application. My internship offered me some working hours I would get paid for but that money will probably go to Stew to pay for those new wheels and realigned axels on my car. I’m still not getting to the gym often and I’m still procrastinating on hw and on outside office work for my internship. I’m not getting enough sleep. 

I’m getting to the point I was at when Kraig and I broke up. 

I can’t break now. I’m almost done. I just need to get through the end April. 

Fuck. This. 

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